Conversation, connection, community

The word ‘community’ gets tossed around a lot these days. 

‘The Muslim community', 'the Jewish community', 'the gay community' – we hear phrases like this all the time. In reality, though, each of these ‘communities’ is made up of all kinds of people who might not have much in common at all, other than a shared label. 

According to the last census, for example, there are almost four million Muslims in the UK. That’s a big ‘community’.

But the label obscures the reality that it’s actually made up of a wide variety of ‘sub-communities’ – centred on different sects of Islam, different national heritages, different political affiliations, even different parts of the country.

The same reality of diversity goes for the 'Jewish community', the 'gay community' – any identity ‘community’, in fact. So, while these labels capture something people share, they don’t necessarily reflect a deeply connected or cohesive group. A true community.

Neighbours

‘Community’ is also often used to mean ‘neighbourhood’ – ‘the Hackney community’, ‘the Moss Side community’ and so on. 

But again, geography doesn’t automatically mean community.  Without people getting to know one another and creating a shared sense of belonging, a neighbourhood can be simply a collection of houses.

Neighbourhoods do often contain the seeds of community, though, because neighbours can often be – well, neighbourly. 

The chat over the garden fence, the smile at the familiar face in the street, the friendly exchange with the local shopkeepers – all of these small, day-to-day expressions of neighbourliness help create the connections through which community can grow. 

So what does make a true community, if it's not just about identity or locality?

Sharing and caring

At the core of any true community is a shared purpose or set of values that brings people together, regularly and face-to-face. Whatever the group is focused on, however grand or mundane, that shared purpose is what holds them together.

On this basis a workplace might qualify as a community, for example. Ditto a school or college, a hobby club or campaigning organisation, even an online gaming group. 

Another key aspect is mutual support. 

People in a true community care for each other. They might step in with emotional support, provide practical help or just be there when someone needs it.

Community is about feeling safe and that others have your back. This kind of care strengthens the bonds of trust and makes community a place where people feel they can truly rely on each other.

So a true community isn’t a passive thing. It thrives on active participation. Everyone chips in, whether it's with time, effort – or simply showing up. 

Authentic connection

When that happens, the community becomes something that’s constantly being shaped and strengthened by the people in it. People who go beyond small talk and get to know each other.

So authentic connection is the key. And it’s through these connections that a true community develops its own collective identity, shaped by the shared experiences, culture and history of the people who are actively part of it. 

Which is another way of saying that true community is built, one conversation at a time, between people who probably at first don't know each other (well). And who actively reach out to change that.

Yes, some communities might focus on their own particular identity, but this often comes with a need to exclude others – subtly or not – ‘to protect our way of life’. 

In contrast, truly thriving and vibrant communities are open to all kinds of people. They welcome diversity of thought, background and experience – and are stronger for it.

Growing, changing, evolving

In other words, it’s an evolving sense of 'us' – founded on authentic communication, active participation and genuine relationships – that makes a true community more than just a label or a neighbourhood.

Conversation. Connection. Community.