Are bots better listeners than us?

There’s no escaping them. AI bots are everywhere.

Until recently they were just directing our calls to the right (or wrong) department. Now there’s a burgeoning bot army offering 24/7 access to all kinds of help, fun and services(!).

And the more human-sounding they get the more we like them, as evidenced by the growing numbers of people now turning to bots for company – friendship, even. 

That’s the picture. Mental health problems, loneliness and social division are on the rise, and more and more people are talking to machines. 

‘Why aren’t those people talking to humans?’ you might ask. ‘We’re better listeners – aren’t we?’ 

Well, are we? 

Time to up our game

I’ve spoken recently with some AI bots that are surprisingly satisfying to talk to. Attentive, respectful, empathic, non-judgemental and – best of all – they don’t hijack the conversation, wander off on tangents or get tetchy when challenged. 

And what about us?

We’re blessed by evolution with the power to understand, be understood, empathise and think together. We can communicate and collaborate in all kinds of miraculous ways.

But are we really making the best of use of these abilities in our daily lives – at home, at work and across society? 

I suggest not. If we were, the world would be a much safer, more respectful, more productive place. 

The trouble is, we don’t seem to realise how much our approach to conversation shapes our lives. How the way we speak and listen to other people affects the way they speak and listen to us.

But that needs to change because, in an age of fake voices and digital manipulation, face-to-face conversation is fast emerging as the only form of human interaction we can genuinely trust. 

Chatbots to the rescue?

I talked to a bot about this.

‘You need to get better at talking to each other,’ s/he said.

Good idea! But how? 

Most of us grew up with a random hotch-potch of conversational habits – some helpful, some not. And though we mostly emerged from the education system able to read, write and count, few of us were taught the skills of holding open-minded, productive conversations with people who see things differently. 

That’s a massive omission from our collective up-bringing – and in my view it’s cost us and society dear.

But that’s precisely why the idea of transforming face-to-face conversations holds such great potential to start changing our personal and working relationships for the better.

Bots can’t do that. Only we can.

But strange as it might sound, well-trained bots might be able to help us in this – by holding up a mirror in which we can see the blemishes in our daily conversational interactions.

And maybe even prompt us to start doing something about them.

I think that’s a very interesting paradox – machines helping us become more human.

What do you think?